It shocks me to discover that life expectancy in Northern China is
5.5 years lower than that of Southern China. It turns out that the government
of China actually, maybe unintentionally (I'm not sure), has created 2
experimental groups. In one group (Northern China), the government provided
free coal to the people, while to the other (Southern Side), the people were
essentially denied central heating, creating two drastic differences in air
quality. This leads me to wonder why the government did this. Was it just the
result of a strange government policy, or government experimentation?
It also very much worries me that collectively,
the 500 million residents of Northern China, have lost 2.5 billion years from
their lives. Will the people of America and other nations face the same dilemma
that China is experiencing right now?
The pollution in China is so bad that it results
in the closing of highways, cancellation of air flights, and outdoor
activities. Also, countless people were sent to the hospital. There have also
been studies that have shown that the air pollution contributed to 1.2 million
deaths in China, 2010. That's nearly 40% of the global total!
China has sacrificed much for its economic
growth, a bit too much for me to be comfortable with.
It is, though, a relief to hear that the Chinese
government has been making efforts to better their nation’s environment. But it
is quite sad to know that factories are being shut down and that people are
losing their jobs because of this effort. Hopefully the end result will be well
worth it.
Hi Philip :) I thought that this was a really interesting article to read about. However, I kind of see that your commentary was an expanded summary of the original post. I see your efforts to add some analysis, but go deeper! What motives would the government have to do this intentionally? What are the implications of the horrible pollution for China? The world? What is this end result?
ReplyDeleteYou chose an amazing topic to write about Philip. It does seem that your article is a summary and I do think you should challenge yourself to analyze the article more. I enjoyed how you gave a negative consequence of what would happen if the government kept factories or shut them down. Overall, you chose a good article, brought up your main key points well and had a good explanation of your views about the Northern China situation.
ReplyDeleteHi Philip! Your enthusiasm in your commentary is so cute~
ReplyDeleteAnyway, in your first paragraph, you used parentheses to add some side notes, but they aren't necessary because this is already a commentary. You should rather incorporate those notes into your paragraphs than to use parentheses.
Your commentary in general was well written. Of course, you can still try to do more analyzing rather than summarizing. But your diction in your paragraphs allow your readers to understand your own personal opinion on the topic, so that was good!
Also, you could try answering the questions you proposed rather than leaving them hanging for the readers themselves to answer. Remember, we're interested in your commentary.
Overall, this was an interesting article and a well-written commentary.